Purge

Life can be very frustrating. Sometimes there is nothing you can do but sit on your hands to keep yourself from sinking into the negativity.

The words you could say...

But you (i) would surely regret them in the near future. Or, at least that has been my experience.

 I hate to be angry. It is my least favorite emotion. So if "you" took me "there", I'm extra annoyed at you. But please don't worry, my friends- you have to really try to "take" me "there"...

Long fuse, big blow, fast to want to make all right, but sometimes there's a lesson to be learned...

I'm frustrated tonight and the most fitting thing I can find to house this anger is the personal data centered in credit card applications that I'm sent almost daily (despite my not perfect credit). No thank you future debt...

I'm ripping out the personal information and sending it to ash. Take that credit card/identity thieves!

I'm really not a pyromaniac- it's just what I have handy :)

Retrospect

I was told many years ago that the average visual artist produces about thirty paintings a year. And of those thirty paintings only a handful will really be strong pieces. I found that defeating at the time but knew that it was probably true.

In my studio process I work on many pieces at once. I go from piece to piece and when i reach the end of my rope on one, I put it in the "pile" and pick up a different one. When I near a deadline I go into overdrive, somewhat narrow my focus on less then 8 pieces and pour whatever I have left of my energy into them with my blood, sweat and prayers.

When the deadline comes and goes I am left with the wreckage of my studio, several best attempts at completion and a large pile of panels which are "in process". Sometimes for years. 

Recently I finished a painting and I believe I'm actually quite happy with it. "Retrospect" The panel itself was once a completed 24"x24" painting- it was even in a show and posted on my website. But after a couple of months I decided it wasn't very good and it became a puddle on my floor. From its remnants I kept trying to find "it". For almost a year I wrestled with it, got frustrated, put it in the pile and then picked it up again and again to no avail.

I bartered an advertising slot for the deduction of that cost off of a painting. That friend wanted me to do a commissioned piece for him based on a personal experience. 

That collector gave me the inspiration for it, I bought the materials to construct a new panel and was about to begin...

Then I realized that I wasn't able to get my work back from an exhibition in time for an open studio event and I was short on my inventory. I put his commission and two others on the back burner and focused on a few pieces to finish in a weeks time for the event. I happened to pick up that same 24"x24" panel and all of a sudden it came together. It just flowed out of me in a way that rarely happens. Something about it lead me to name it "Retrospect" and hung it gladly with the two others completed for the event.

The next day I was in the studio ready to start that barter commission and resume my work, but I couldn't keep my eye off "Retrospect". I realized that it was the same size as the barter commission and the title was very fitting. It occurred to me, amongst my other ongoing deadlines, it would be wise to make sure that it wasn't "his" painting. 

He came to see it and loved it. That poor panel finally found its place and I had the Godsend of the easiest commission ever. I inadvertently painted it for him. Had I started from scratch and focused on it,

it probably would have taken me months to complete. 

Battle

To be a professional artist-

It's not always fun, or passionate play-time and whole hearted self expression.

It can be very hard work-

To create when you're not in the mood- not moved, or particularly inspired...

To take on commissions (the bread and butter for many) and have the first version (which you poured your heart and soul into) and maybe the second attempt still not be quite be what they wanted...

To try to be a good business person, while still connecting to your work in a meaningful way, and juggling everyday life (for me motherhood, household chores, etc)...

To realize there are so many talented artists out there trying to do what you're trying to to- and often it seems to somehow come easier to them...

To be exhausted and burnt out, yet still on a deadline. Praying for the merciful gift of the muse as you burn whatever you have left trying to make "it" happen...

To try so very hard in these circumstances with everything you have left but it to all comes apart...

To approach a project that you really really want to do but you're just about empty...

To need the supplies to finish the painting to make your bills and buy more supplies...

To pray for a miracle- that a big painting sells soon because your car broke down or you made a stupid mistake on your taxes...

Yes, it can be hard. It can be very humbling.

But the rewards of working hard to follow your passion are great.

When you 're truly in need and it's somehow provided...

When you feel burnt out/ emptied,and a   stranger shows up to tell you just how much your painting means to them...

When you're past praying for a big piece  to sell to make those bills and you're left with the bare faith of just trying to go on. And then suddenly- that sale comes.

This is a constantly humbling, torrid, exhausting, revival cycle in my life. 

I want you to understand how this is.

But would I trade it all for that steady paying, time off and insurance giving cubicle life?

No thank you.

"Jasper"

"Jasper"

18"x24"

encaustic on panel

EBCBrown,LLC'13

 

 

 

a while ago I wrote a blog called "of slugs and accidental homicide".

this piece was inspired by that post. to read it, click below...

 

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2561020633791865966#editor/target=post;postID=58878445634185643;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=66;src=postname



Muse- Tricen

There shall rarely be such a beautiful muse to me as this- my darling, Tricen. Though, the years that have passed, you are now a man...

I keep a photo of us close to my heart and it will follow me wherever I go- along with my prayers for you always.

I met you during an outreach from my church and we bonded right away. You asked me to take you home with me. Oh - my love I wish I could have ! maybe I should have? but at the age of. 17 I felt so ill equipped .

I came back to visit you regularly- much to my parent's chagrin and I relished in your prescience.

One cold November day I came to visit - you and your brother were outside playing in too large underwear. I said,"aren't you cold?" and you said yes, so I entered into your house, stepped over your mother passed out on the floor, past a large man doing something in the corner, up into your bedroom. There I found warm clothing, jackets and gloves but no boots...I think I remember tying plastic bags around your feet before I left.

 

The paths of my life lead me away from you, but hardly a day has gone by that I don't think of you and pray for you. 

Into the great wide open of this Internet, this crazy world, the tear stained face I have typing this... Please, let Tricen be doing well and please surround him with love.

"Gifted" Exhibition

Ready

Today Joel and i set up my exhibition space at the Contemporary Art Show NYC. I'm excited, but slightly nervous about the next three days. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the people who have surrounded me with love and support. It means a great deal to me.

 Thank you!!!! And thank you to my amazing right hand man, my fiancé Joel.

Next week it's onto an awesome 3 person show at the Blank Canvas Gallery in New Hope, PA and then the "Gifted" show at the Art Trust in west Chester. 

It's a crazy run but I'm honestly just relieved that the whip at my back to create(!) is quiet for the time being. This group of work has been particularly hard for me. And I really really need some sleep.

Upcomming Exhibitions

Contemporary Art Fair NYC

Friday, October 25 Noon-7pm
Saturday, October 26 10am-7pm
Sunday, October 27 10am-4pm

ADMISSION

Adults $14
Seniors $13
Students $8
Children under 10 free!
Cash only at the door.

LOCATION

Jacob Javits Center-North
11th Avenue & 39th Street
New York, NY 10014

I will be in booth at booth 229 and I would love to see you there!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

then the following weekend:

"Seraphina"

I recently wrote a blog called Seraphina and spoke of my intent to dedicate a painting to the subject.  Here she is...

copyright EBCBrown,LLC'13

Art scam- Saudi Arabia

I recently almost fell prey to an art scam that would have cost me at least $5,000 in inventory. If it sounds too good to be true, it sadly often is. What kind of sick person would prey on artists?! In my case it was a guy named "Rasheed" from Saudi Arabia who almost had me fooled. If other artists hadn't posted their similar experiences online, I'd be fit be to tied right now.

Please read the link below, artists.

It's a credit card fraud. They get your artwork and you get nothing. Terrible!!!

http://blog.artweb.com/how-to/art_scam_email/

In the studio

This is a photograph of me in my messy studio taken by photographer Jeremy Hess for Fig Magazine West Chester.

Seraphina

About 3 years ago I saw a news story online about a family in which everyone was killed- mother, children- except for the young girl, Seraphina. She survived because her older sister covered her as a human shield to the gun man (who I believe was an estranged relative).

She was the sole survivor. 

This story has ached upon my heart over the years.  Findind nothing to turn to in all of my googling but prayer, I still long to know that she's ok. In the current body of work that I'm relentlessly pursuing to finish for next week , you will find a painting attributed to her. Though I 

know it can't even begin to capture what she's been through- it is me (a stranger who is deeply longing for her well being)'s expression of empathetic grief over the situation.

Oh sweet child- may God give you much comfort and may love and peace abundantly surround you.

Rising from the ashes

The past sometimes haunts me. Mistakes I've made, hurts, people once so important in my life- no longer a part of it...

Experiences at a taste, smell or a glance of mistaken identity...

There was a time in my life when I indulged creatively in reliving these heartbreaks and letting the festering explode into catharsis...

But now, I have my family. God has given me an enormous gift.

Those shivers down my spine, old pains that somehow still hurt after all this time, unfinished stories...

They have become a distraction. They do not feed my hunger to create they just ache. They deter me from doing my work. What ambles up as emotional creative fodder splinters and breaks leading nowhere productive. Just that old pain relived again.

Now, I spill my heart as best I can, not to unrequited love, loss, heartbreak, or regret.

i aim to spill my heart upon much more deserving alters.

Sometimes there are sad aspects- but let  them not be of regret or loss from the now distant past. Let me grasp hold of the grace given to me and all the joys of my life. Let them not be overshadowed by painful memories or old heartaches. I have suffered them enough. The world does not need to hear about them anymore. And neither do I.

Reflecting- gratitude

I'm moved tonight.  Not in response to any particular event, just a general feeling of gratitude...

I create. I aim to pour my heart and soul into my works of art. They have all of my effort, my name, the name I've given them, but in a way they do not really come into their own until somebody wants them, loves them, has to have them. Then they become "yours" in a sense and in this way that makes it complete. 

Unless it's a commission, when I wrestled to find it in the studio, I did not know that it would be  "yours". I pour myself into these paintings and put them out there.

When they find their home, I'm not only glad to make a sale, but I'm excited because it has come full circle. It's beautiful and continually humbling.

To those who have supported me- thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!

To my collectors- thank you in that same way, but please know that you literally provided me the means to keep doing what I love and feel called to do and i am so very grateful.

Great idea

The "Before I Die" project...

http://candychang.com/before-i-die-in-nola/

Copyright for visual artists

This subject has come up several times over the past few months. Initially I wanted to post something about it, but did not because it can be an unpleasant subject. I'm going to be brave and put this "out there", because it seems to be something many people don't know about.

Now that its come up again and again, I desire to let people know that...

When an artist creates a work of art, they own the copyright of that work, unless otherwise specified in writing. This means that you cannot reproduce it without the artist's consent. It might be disenchanting for some people, but though you purchase a painting, photograph, sculpture, drawing, stained glass, etc, you do not own the rights to that image and there are legal limitations to protect the creator in how it is used and replicated.

There are some rather difficult scenarios that involve outdoor art and the necessity of it being relocated or work attached to a building after the building's ownership has changed hands or development plans.

In a recent headline- http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/cityroom/2012/04/23/at-kennedy-airport-an-artist-fights-to-save-her-sculpture/

For me its a little more basic. Nobody can use, replicate or copy my work without my consent.

On a positive note for my collectors-

I do not do prints. If you own one of my paintings you will only see it elsewhere on my website or used for publicity purposes. 

I believe this intrinsically adds value to owning an original piece of art.

See:

http://www.copyrightalliance.org/files/visual_artists.pdf

Let it go...

In the honor of a friend who has helped me out with several art events this past year and is the owner of "Anyone"

I have been working on a sister painting amidst my 3 current commission projects. I have written about "Anyone" in a past blog. The inspiration for this pieces is also derived from an e.e.cummings poem...

let it go – the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise – let it go it
was sworn to
go

let them go – the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers – you must let them go they
were born
to go

let all go – the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things – let all go
dear

so comes love

(amen)

Always beginning

“The artist is always beginning. Any work of art which is not a beginning, an invention, a discovery is of little worth.”

- Ezra Pound

Recurring Themes 2 Requiem

oh- Requiem...
a couple of years ago an old friend introduced me to Motzart's "Requiem" and then took me to a live performance of it.
I fell madly in love. Really madly in love.

In the first "Requiem", I became utterly obsessed both with the piece of music and the painting it's self...

 

"Requiem"

46"x46"

acrylic and oil on canvas on panel

  http://www.ebcbrown.com/gallery/requiem/

To this day, if any part of that requiem is played, I can usually hum and sometimes  sing along in Latin to the next verses.

Recently I took the guilty pleasure of naming a piece "Requiem No 2". 

I heard the piece somewhere and my love affair was reignited as I tore through layers of this mixed media piece with my power sander.

I am sure Requiem will continue to haunt me and my work. I am very much okay with that.

"Requiem No.2"

8"x10"

Mixed media on panel

http://www.ebcbrown.com/gallery/requiem-no-2/

New Work

i just finished updating my website to show my most recent work.
please check it out:
www.ebcbrown.com

thursday

Reintroduction to Francis Bacon

Francis Bacon in his studio circa 1977

( thank you to the Artist and Studio website- http://artistandstudio.tumblr.com/)

I discovered this image online tonight.

At first I was amused and saved it to my photos on my phone to show to those who think that my studio is messy. 

But then I began to reacquaint myself with this brilliant mans dark work. It's haunting and sometimes disturbing to me. 

I stumbled upon these quotes by him-

"The creative process is a cocktail of instinct, skill, culture and a highly creative feverishness. It is not like a drug; it is a particular state when everything happens very quickly, a mixture of consciousness and unconsciousness, of fear and pleasure; it’s a little like making love, the physical act of love."

"My painting is a representation of life, my own life above all, which has been very difficult. So perhaps my painting is very violent, but this is natural to me."

"The men I painted were all in extreme situations, and the scream is a transcription of their pain. "

His obituary in the New York Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/1992/04/29/arts/francis-bacon-82-artist-of-the-macabre-dies.html?smid=pl-share

Interview

There is a wonderful man named Michael Corbin (artbookguy) who regularly posts online interviews with artists in his website and is a source of support for artists and inspiration to viewers.

I was honored to do an interview with him. To read it, go here:

http://artbookguy.com/erica-brown-the-degradation-of-manmade-things_621.html

To see his wonderful site, go here:

http://artbookguy.com/

Going down in history

I am a lover of art history. (though I'm ashamed to admit since baby, etc, I have not been as dedicated to my studies as I used to be.)

A large part of what interests me in studying artists of the past is their life stories and how they correlate with the evolution of their work. 

That "real" aspect of the person who created a body of work... 

I find it utterly inspiring. 

Perhaps this factors into how I conduct myself more than I realize. 

I aim to support myself and my family with my art career while I'm still kicking,  but If my artwork at some point becomes popular after my death- (as is common for visual artists)  how would my story read? Of course I can only control some aspects of my life's story. But I certainly wouldn't want to be known to toot my own horn, sell out for what was immediately successful/popular or in any way create things that are not from my heart or have business practices which are morally questionable.

These are standards that I believe I would stand by anyway, but knowing that someday my viewers might have only these stories with which to relate to my art, further arms my conscience.

Rittenhouse

I had the good fortune of being one of the artists at the 82nd Rittenhouse Fine Art Show last weekend. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart to all of those who came out to support me. 

Perhaps you stumbled upon my booth and I had a great conversation with you and invited you for a studio visit...

I hope you contact me because it was wonderful to meet you.

It is those kind of interactions that reignite  the drive for me to continue doing this. 

Thank you.

 

Abandoned

I am continually inspired by abandoned homes and factories in my area. Indeed, all around me in this town I see it daily...

Nature slowly reclaiming man made structures... the persistent decay that weather takes on surfaces... Roots of trees (which have been around long before us) silently dismantling pavement and brick...

As you can imagine the photos on this link were a feast for my eyes...
http://www.dailyfunlists.com/33-amazing-abandoned-places-in-the-world/

There is a great book that I keep in my studio-
"American Ruins" by, Arthur Drooker
I highly recommend it.

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who came out to my studio this weekend! It was a wonderful experience for me and that is because you came.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your support!

To my fellow studio tour artists- great job! I wish I could have visited your spaces.

And now to prepare for the next event- the Rittenhouse fine arts festival on June 7,8 and 9.
(If you go, please come visit me? I'll be at booth #35)

Events-

I have 2 big events rapidly approaching:

Chester County Studio Tour
May 18th  10am-6pm
May 19th  11am-5pm

This event includes 53 Chester County based artists at 23 artist studio locations.
my studio is one of these locations:

28 North New Street
West Chester, PA 19380
(on new street between gay and market streets)

I would LOVE to see you there!

I will be doing encaustic paintings demonstrations through out both days of the event.
stop by to see my latest work and where I create it- with wine and food to be enjoyed.

I highly recommend stopping at other locations as well.
there are 3 other artists a stones throw away from my studio.

please contact me with any questions.
for more information about the event go to- http://chestercountystudiotour.com/



82nd Annual Rittenhouse Square Fine Art Show
June 7th-9th
Friday 11am-7pm
Saturday 11am-7pm
Sunday 11am-5pm

I will have my work one display and be present during the entire show.
though this event has its own large draw, I would absolutely love to see some familiar faces.
if you look on the map provided on the event site, I will be in booth #35.

http://www.rittenhousesquareart.com/


Lastly, the center of emerging visual artists has invited me to display 3 of my pieces in a year long exhibition at the Cira Center in Philadelphia.
If you happen to be going there, I can tell you where to find it :)

http://ciracenter.com/

Beautiful mess

As so much of life tends to be...

Confess

Today I woke up with the painting/commission/ obsession that I'm currently working on in the studio at the for front of my mind. More so than usual.

this would be expected, because I usually paint late into the night until the point of exhaustion, but when I wake up, I am supposed to be no longer that musing artist, but instead mommy.

This tug of war on my consciousness led me to muse about my endeavor to compartmentalize my modes of being.

During the day I am supposed to purely have my amazing daughter as my focus. And housework, etc.
On many evenings I am engaging with my wonderful clientele at my bar and late at night I am alone, but still at work aiming for creative abandon and production in the studio.
Let alone time for my wonderful Joel...

I found this quote tonight but I have not had time to research its context...

"A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession."
~Camus

I don't know about the guilt part in this context, and I am Protestant not catholic, but this quotes resonates in me. There is that alone time- just God, me and that artwork that is necessary. I can identify it as a sort of confession.

It needs to be solitary. It needs to be fully involved- in whole hearted abandon. I need to process over my heartaches and cares as I create.

But when this is achieved well, it can make it hard to progress into the next priority.
(I guess this is actually where that "guilt" part comes in...)

I wake up to the greatest joy of my life and the biggest responsibility. She says "momma" and I say truthfully, "that's me! It's the best thing that I've ever been!"

And this is the most true statement I could say but it is slightly diss heartened by the lack of energy to fully back it up.
though I try very very hard to overcome the effects of sleep deprivation for her.

It's a battle that she has to win, ideally my art to survive and some solitude found in the process... Please.

The sparrow

Often things are tight financially- recently especially so.
(A bunch of random bills came up - all at the same time...)

There are about 12 sparrows that live in my very small, urban yard. Often I'm taking a breather outside with financial burdens on my mind and their communications back and forth finally distract me.
Thank you lord for the reminder- somehow and often in a very humbling turn of events- it will be provided.
( mind you- I would starve,etc. before any want touched my daughter. )

Then when only faith (or borrowing money from loved ones) is left to make the bills, a stranger in Michigan (who stumbled upon my work online) wants to buy a painting. And suddenly I am able to make my bills and buy the needed supplies to complete my work for the next event.

Whew...
Thank you!

Is it too cliche to say to a random
buyer that they just saved my bottom from choosing diapers over paying the electric bill? I held my tongue.

To those that want to relish in the tragedy of the starving artist- I've lived that (literally) but luckily for the most part things have progressed positively for me.

To those who say to me that they're glad I have such a nice "hobby"- arg.
Please refer to all of the above.

Mural at Burlap & Bean Coffee

I apologize for not posting this sooner.

I did this mural at Burlap & Bean Coffee last summer.

If you would like to see it in person, feel free to stop by and have a cup of their delicious coffee.

http://www.burlapandbean.com/

Thank you to Gabe Cariola for taking such wonderful photographs.

 

 

 

Current

In the studio I currently have 3 different on going projects...

A (large) planter that I am doing for a donation and trying desperately to wrap up before the open studio tour in May
(Because it is indeed large and takes up much needed space).
...
A commission piece based on a dear friend/ performer done freely in an abstract style but influenced by Leroy Neiman's "Satchmo"...
...
And my new paintings for my events in the spring / summer, which I'm excited about right now and aching to attend to...

(Not to mention a new series that I'm chomping at the bit to get started on, but will probably not be able to start until late summer )

Whew! Juggling all of that with a very active- hitting the terrible two's early-wonderful 17 month old and an almost full time job bar tending- I am tired!
But thank God, I'm not uninspired.

I'm ashamed to say that I had not heard of Leroy Neiman before I was approached by this client. His work challenges me in my color theory and looking at his work again and again on line, I've become a fan.

Here is "Satchmo" (for those that don't recognize the name, it was Louis Armstrong's nickname.)

http://www.doubletakeart.com/cgi-bin/dtg/dtg.sla?ca=&hc=2&cc=dtg&al=&zm=x&ac=&alc=&pg=&ai=00400*482

Abstraction

I took this photograph on my birthday at The MOMA. It is above the entrance of the awesome "Inventing Abstraction" exhibition that I highly recommend seeing.

Horrace Pippin on NPR

This wonderful man!s studio/home was a stones throw from mine...
http://whyy.org/cms/radiotimes/2013/02/25/the-life-and-work-of-horace-pippin/

Break

Catching my breath. Though I'm in "the zone" tonight, sometimes I need to look away so that I can see my work again. This is my view...

Series

While investigating how to get from the wonderful "here" I find myself in, on to the "next level", one thing has become abundantly clear-
People- both viewers, collectors and gallery owners like artists to work in series.
Why I have I not done this?
It never really occurred to me. My work is usually all stemming from the same inspirations. I believe I have under estimated the power of working in a series and my aim is to give it a try.
Below I am posting a link to site that lauds the power of working in such a way. I'm itching to finish my current work and give it a try...

http://www.artbusiness.com/advantages-for-artists-to-making-art-in-series.html

RED

by the time i finally call it a night in the studio, i'm usually quite exhausted.

last week i was trying to juggle too many things as i was shutting down (unwise, because i know that i am clumsy) and i dropped a container of watered down red paint from a project i have been working on.

i was entertained as the paint began to travel across my obviously not level studio floor, so i took this photo.

 

 

a week later the property manager of my building (who has his business upstairs) contacted me asking me to please get rid of the bloody red paint on my door.

apparently my door was open when this incident occurred and blood red paint got splashed on the door and doorway. his customers had commented on it and worried that something horrible had happened inside. i felt bad but at the same time found it hilarious.

needless to say, i have painted over the evidence of my serial clumsiness.

 

 

Love

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

So you say you can't...

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."
- Vincent Van Gogh

Thank you, Sir Churchill...

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
Winston Churchill

32 years and counting...

when i first embarked on this journey as a professional artist-
i was 23 years old.
i was an assistant director of a small gallery
i was one of few artists i knew painting primarily in encaustic,
and i had a dream...
to just paint.
and to do it from my heart- not conceding to what would sell or be popular. i wanted my work to sell itself...

i wasn't exactly sure how it would all work out, but i was certain that with a great deal of heart and perseverance, i would defiantly be very close if not "there" by the time i was 32.

a week from today i turn 32...
i wonder- would i disappoint my 23 year old self with my progress?
i thought that by now i would have a prominent gallery in philly representing me... (I've had a year long partnership with a gallery there, but do not currently and i have shown my work in the city several times),
have exhibitions across the country (i've made some small progress in this recently). 
and why not? the world was my oyster! next- Europe! oh my.
Basically, I thought that I'd be a whole lot further in my career by now.

mind you that this was before...
the recession
i learned first hand that there "bad" people in every business- even the art world.
I learned that my self destructive patterns handicapped my ambitions...
realized more fully just how many artists- and many more talented than me- are trying to do this too...
that having to paint (while a blessing) can be really hard- (deadlines/commissions)...
and that the absolute most important thing- that of being "mama"- would enter my life.

please understand-
i have been blessed with many wonderful exhibition experiences.  i am proud of my resume (http://www.ebcbrown.com/curriculum-vitae/).  i have been humbled again and again by the opportunities and support that has been bestowed upon me. i am so grateful for all of the experiences i have had with my art.  i am incredibly grateful that i'm still keeping at it and somehow the studio continues to support itself. (collectors- from the bottom of my heart- thank you!).
and i believe i have held true to the goal of painting how i feel i am supposed to paint- no matter what the art market dictates.

but i'm having a bit of 32 year old crisis and it's not really all that bad once i get over the shock of the expectations of my 23 year old self.  it is lighting a fire anew in my belly. so things haven't worked out like i thought they would-  in many ways they have worked out for the better, and where the lingering pits in my stomach occur, i'm trying to find a new plan...
but that's harder now.  i somehow thought things would fall into place, but they didn't land the way i had naively expected them to.

but that's ok. my story is far from over. it's a step by step- a lot of work...
producing and putting it out "there" again and again...
looking for the best way to the whatever "there" is...
it's more open now.  i want to progress in doing what i love to do, feel called to do...
how does that exactly happen?
stay tuned ;)