Thursday, September 12, 2013

Seraphina

About 3 years ago I saw a news story online about a family in which everyone was killed- mother, children- except for the young girl, Seraphina. She survived because her older sister covered her as a human shield to the gun man (who I believe was an estranged relative).

She was the sole survivor. 

This story has ached upon my heart over the years.  Findind nothing to turn to in all of my googling but prayer, I still long to know that she's ok. In the current body of work that I'm relentlessly pursuing to finish for next week , you will find a painting attributed to her. Though I 
know it can't even begin to capture what she's been through- it is me (a stranger who is deeply longing for her well being)'s expression of empathetic grief over the situation.

Oh sweet child- may God give you much comfort and may love and peace abundantly surround you.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Rising from the ashes

The past sometimes haunts me. Mistakes I've made, hurts, people once so important in my life- no longer a part of it...
Experiences at a taste, smell or a glance of mistaken identity...
There was a time in my life when I indulged creatively in reliving these heartbreaks and letting the festering explode into catharsis...

But now, I have my family. God has given me an enormous gift.

Those shivers down my spine, old pains that somehow still hurt after all this time, unfinished stories...
They have become a distraction. They do not feed my hunger to create they just ache. They deter me from doing my work. What ambles up as emotional creative fodder splinters and breaks leading nowhere productive. Just that old pain relived again.

Now, I spill my heart as best I can, not to unrequited love, loss, heartbreak, or regret.
i aim to spill my heart upon much more deserving alters.
Sometimes there are sad aspects- but let  them not be of regret or loss from the now distant past. Let me grasp hold of the grace given to me and all the joys of my life. Let them not be overshadowed by painful memories or old heartaches. I have suffered them enough. The world does not need to hear about them anymore. And neither do I.