It's not always fun, or passionate play-time and whole hearted self expression.
It can be very hard work-
To create when you're not in the mood- not moved, or particularly inspired...
To take on commissions (the bread and butter for many) and have the first version (which you poured your heart and soul into) and maybe the second attempt still not be quite be what they wanted...
To try to be a good business person, while still connecting to your work in a meaningful way, and juggling everyday life (for me motherhood, household chores, etc)...
To realize there are so many talented artists out there trying to do what you're trying to to- and often it seems to somehow come easier to them...
To be exhausted and burnt out, yet still on a deadline. Praying for the merciful gift of the muse as you burn whatever you have left trying to make "it" happen...
To try so very hard in these circumstances with everything you have left but it to all comes apart...
To approach a project that you really really want to do but you're just about empty...
To need the supplies to finish the painting to make your bills and buy more supplies...
To pray for a miracle- that a big painting sells soon because your car broke down or you made a stupid mistake on your taxes...
Yes, it can be hard. It can be very humbling.
But the rewards of working hard to follow your passion are great.
When you 're truly in need and it's somehow provided...
When you feel burnt out/ emptied,and a stranger shows up to tell you just how much your painting means to them...
When you're past praying for a big piece to sell to make those bills and you're left with the bare faith of just trying to go on. And then suddenly- that sale comes.
This is a constantly humbling, torrid, exhausting, revival cycle in my life.
I want you to understand how this is.
But would I trade it all for that steady paying, time off and insurance giving cubicle life?
No thank you.
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